Sharing The Love

Aside from my husband & children, I have a few interests that are a very big part of my life.

One is anything Gwen Stefani/No Doubt & Gwen's fashion line L.A.M.B related. Yes, I consider No Doubt & Gwen a big part of my life. Don't laugh at me. Being interested in those things lead me to a site with some community message boards and I ended up meeting some very good friends through them. Friends that I think will be my friends for life. They "get" me & my crazy Gwen love. Some of us have met in person for Christmas gatherings all decked out in our LAMB fashion line attire. We went to the local No Doubt shows together when they toured last. And now, we have memories that will last a lifetime together that came from one common interest.

The next would be Weight Loss Surgery. WLS has been a very big part of my life for the last three and a half years. I have met a ton of WLS peeps both in real life and online that I now consider my friends. It's kind of like a big family. We may have different interests, be different generations, and if it weren't for the fact that we both had WLS we might never be friends, but the fact that we had WLS connects us. I "get" something about you and you "get" something about me that someone who has not had WLS just doesn't "get".

Having WLS is very important part of my life and who I am now. It was a life changing event for me. I try to keep it something that is a part of my daily life and in doing so I created a page for Weight Loss Surgery on Facebook. This page has connected me with some amazing people. One in particular recently sent me a questionnaire to complete for her blog. She's a very cool girl & I am hoping to meet her in real life soon! Check out her blog and read the interview below.

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/01/heres-to-new-friends.html

Stay connected. Don't forget where you came from. Pay it forward. xoxo

I am who I thought I was…

I received my OH magazine in the mail yesterday. I thumbed through it quickly and tossed it on the counter. Later that evening my husband asked me if I read the “Loss – A Story of Bariatric Surgery & Divorce” article. I hadn’t. Seems that although he is a fit guy that has never really had a weight problem he is always the first to read that magazine. (I’m thinking I may need to start hiding it from him… it gets his brain thinking about things he needn’t worry about.)

So we’ve all heard it… if you haven’t read the article, I’d say it’s like many divorce stories you’ve heard post-surgery. Fat girl, loses weight, sheds the layers, wakes up from the coma she’d been in, discovers who she really is and decides she needs to go live her true life now, and this does not include her husband. Although this is not me, I get it.

My husband and I discussed the article and it got me thinking: why isn’t this me? Why did surgery not change me to the core like it does for many others? Did surgery change me at all?

Now to sort out what has been going on in my head the last 24 hours. This may take a few turns, so bare with me. Yes, having gastric bypass has changed me. I think anyone who has had this surgery is changed in some way. I am a more confident, outgoing person. I do things now I never did pre-surgery. I run, I swim in front of other people, I am more willing to go to my husband’s friends parties – just to name a few. Sometimes it’s things I don’t even realize. One example is when my slender co-worker invited me to go out to the mall to shop with her. I said yes, we went to the mall, visited at least 4 different clothing stores, got dressing rooms next to each other to get opinions from one another on the clothes we tried on and I had an absolute blast. It wasn’t until I got home that night that I thought, “I would have never been able to go with her before surgery. I would not have been able to shop in the stores we went to. This fun day would not have happened before surgery.” But – I do not think I went through the mental changes that a lot of WLS patients go through.

Inside, my spirit feels the same it always has. I am who I always was. I am more who I always was in my heart and mind today than I ever have been. I think this is because I never saw myself as just “the fat girl”. I always thought I was a pretty girl – a girl worth everything I wanted and achieved. I was always into fashion and makeup and having my hair done. I was never into going out to the club, I was never a drinker. I’ve always been a little shy. I could be a bit judgmental before and I can be judgmental now. I’ve loved my husband since I was 16 and I believe I always will.

Gastric Bypass has given me my real life. It’s given me “me”. I am who I always was and will always be.

ObesityHelp.com Events

Use Promo Code WLSFB for $25 OFF your ObesityHelp Event ticket price!

There are two more ObesityHelp Events this year! See information here: http://www.obesityhelp.com/events

Cincinnati, Ohio August 20-21 Link to purchase with discount: http://www.obesityhelp.com/store/action,addtocart/itemId,3001/pcode,WLSFB/

Houston, Texas November 5-6 Link to purchase with discount: http://www.obesityhelp.com/store/action,addtocart/itemId,2802/pcode,WLSFB/

Excess Skin

If I were a rich girl, if I had all the money in the world, oh if I were a wealthy girl...

I think I may be a little mental about this plastic surgery thing. It's like I go through phases with it. Sometimes it's all I can think about. I am obsessing over it. Gotta have it, ASAP! Then other times I think my time will come. A friend said it best to me last week... it's kinda of like these manic phases where it's all I can think about for a few days... manic indeed.

Losing this much weight can be mentally challenging. People tell me how great I look and I tell them how much healthier I feel, but the truth is, when I look in the mirror, I still see fat. I see the loose, hanging skin and think I need to lose more weight. And for those of you out there thinking,"Isnt't there some exercises you can do to tighten it?" the answer is no. It's just there. And there it will stay until I have the money to pay a plastic surgeon to get it removed.... that is of course, unless some almighty power provides some other means to have the surgery without me paying for it.... I think that is something a lot of us WLS girls dream of.

So, what do I want done? Inner thighs, extended tummy tuck, breast lift and augmentation. My arms are ok. I can live with them. How much will all this cost? Approx. $25k - yes, a new car. It is something I feel I really have to do though. It's not just because I want to look good, I want to feel good. I DID NOT lose 145 lbs to still feel and look fat.

Ok, here it goes, I'm going to share some pics with you. I'll keep the inner thighs and breasts private, as they should be...





I want those of you reading this to know though... I am happy. I'd take the excess skin over the 145 lbs any day!!! I do feel better. No regrets.

Obesity Help Convention - Costa Mesa, CA

It's been a week since the OH convention down in SoCal. I had a lot of fun. I met a few new people and got closer to friends.

Gina and I got down there on Thursday afternoon. I met up with a friend that evening that I was so excited to see! Christopher had gifts waiting for me - a gorgeous Tarina Tarantino necklace that I wore almost all weekend, and a Harvey's clutch. Those bags are so rad. I am going to have to order another from him. We shopped on Melrose and went to The Grove for dinner. It was so very LA. Here's a pic of my Christopher and I at Harvey's on Melrose.



Friday before we checked into the hotel we went to Venice Beach. I'd never been there before. It was fun and beautiful. We shopped a little and went out onto the beach.


LA Traffic is bananas. It took us forever to get to Orange County... long drive.

Saturday we were up bright and early to get ready for the conference. There were three speakers I really enjoyed hearing. Dr. Davis from the show Big Medicine gave a talk on nutrition. He wants us all to watch the movie Food Inc. and as much as I don't want to, I know I have to. I really want to start eating more natural - less processed or packaged foods. I'm even thinking about going vegetarian after listening to him talk. So of course I bought his book, got it autographed and had my picture taken with him. I'll share:


Next I listened to Dan Benintendi. He is an amzing man. He had surgery a little less than a month before I did. He's run COUNTLESS miles since surgery. He's done Ironman. He even did some crazy 100 mile run. Now that was freakin' inspiring. I bitch about going to the gym for an hour a few days a week and this guy just doesn't stop! But what really pulled at my heart strings was the way he talked about his wife. He and his wife have been together since the age of 16, so as someone who is also with my teen love I understood the love he was talking about. I was so touched I had to go up to him after his talk and tell him how awesome and inspiring he is, and that I teared up when he talked about his wife's love and support. Check out his website! http://www.trimywill.com

The third speaker I really enjoyed was Dr. Mary Jo Rapini - How to get your mojo back after weight loss surgery! Ummmm, ya. She was fun. I enjoyed her talk. She promotes "self love" peeps, so get to it!

That night there was a dance and they had a photobooth there. Gina and I had fun in there! So much fun we had to do it twice!



Here's a pic of Suzanne and I. We got to know eachother over the weekend and she is a lot of fun!



I'm so glad I went! I was hoping to be inspired and I really was. It is so important to me to stay involved and connected with the weight loss surgery community. I think it keeps me in check and on track. I want to live a long time and be healthy. I am grateful everyday for what this surgery has given me.

Six Flags - then & now

So as you've probably read in "My Weight Loss Story", the day I decided I had to be pro-active about getting the weight off was when we went to Six Flags. It was a horrible, humiliating day. I was too embarresed to go on any of the rides, the few kiddy rides I went on with my little one was almost laughable looking back at it. If you've been fat and to an amusement park, you know what I am talking about. The tea cups, the little balloons that spin around... the wheel in the middle you are suppose to turn to make you spin... how can you turn the wheel when your stomach is pressed against it??

Well, here I am, at goal, two years after my weight loss surgery, at Six Flags! OMGoodness! I actually had fun! I felt great! Plenty of room in the kiddie rides for me! I had plenty of energy, I could've walked around that place all day! (Notice my over-use of the exclamation point?!!)

So here are the pics of me, then & now. What a difference! It's funny how still, two years later, I am still finding things that make me so grateful for having had WLS.

My Weight Loss Surgery Story from 1 year Surgiversary

It was a cool summer day in June of 2007. We had gone on a family trip to Six Flags. I was miserable. I was embarrassed. I wanted to hide, but had to keep a smile on my face for my family. I used the excuse that day that I was “afraid” to go on rollercoasters, but the truth was that I was terrified of being told I was too big to sit next to my 60 pound son and horrified of the embarrassment of being asked to get off a ride.

Even though I had been above 200 lbs for the past 10 years, I had never really “felt” my obesity. On this rare day, I was aware of every pound, all 289. In my mind, everyone in the park was looking at me, the fat girl, with a fit husband and two thin children. I felt like I had a big sign on my forehead that said, “FATTY!” and my husband was reading it with the rest of them.

As traumatic as that day was it made the decision I had been contemplating for 2 years. On that cool day in June of 07 I decided that I was going to have the Gastric Bypass Weight Loss Surgery.

Within a few weeks I was at my primary care physician’s office to get a referral to the bariatric program. A month after that I was at the orientation for the bariatric program and accepted to the program. By the end of November of 2007 I had lost the required 10% of my weight. I was then scheduled an appointment with the program’s psychologist. In the beginning of January 2008 I was given my surgery date. I would have the life changing surgery on February 12th, 2008.

I was not scared or nervous leading up to the surgery or the morning of. My husband was more scared than I was. My mind and heart were decided. There I sat with the IV in my arm before surgery and my husband was ready to bust me out, all I needed to say was, “I don’t want to do this.” But those words were not going to come out of my mouth. I knew this was something I had to do.

I kissed my husband goodbye, walked into the operating room, lay down on the table and was strapped down. I talked a bit with the operating room staff and my surgeon, Dr. Christine Chu. The anesthesiologist administered the medication to put me out and the next thing I knew I was waking up… it was done.

So here I am, one year later. I am down a total of 130 lbs. I can chase my kids, go down the slide and not worry about getting stuck on the way down. I go to the gym 5 days a week, I am even jogging now! ME! JOGGING! My life has changed in ways I never expected.

I now enjoy bubble baths. I cross my legs without thinking about it. I am aware of how much LESS space I take up. I am no longer shocked when I catch my reflection in a mirror or window by how big I am, I am now shocked by my reflection at how small I am.

I’m still getting used to this new body and all that I can do with it. It’s taking my mind a little longer to catch up with my new thin body, but I know in time it will get there and the “me” I see in my head will eventually match what is on the outside.

My decision to have Gastric Bypass is one of the best decisions I ever made, so on this day, one year later, I wanted to make a post to remind myself how far I’ve come.